


Heaven’s Gate

by Zesty_Bill_Clinton



Series: M A N I A - A Peterick Retrospective [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy, M A N I A - Fall Out Boy (Album)
Genre: Churches, Depression, M/M, Panic Attacks, Regret, patrick helping pete, pete thinking he’s a mess (tm)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 03:36:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14370057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zesty_Bill_Clinton/pseuds/Zesty_Bill_Clinton
Summary: Pete has fled from his band mates in search of solace, but sometimes solace can only be found in others-Part of a series of oneshots for each song on Mania





	Heaven’s Gate

Pete’s head bowed to the dark wood of the pew in front of him in despair. He had been here for god knows how long but he felt nothing. The calm quiet of the church was not soothing as he hoped, but instead achingly silent, it’s soft shadowed eves teeming with ghosts of Pete’s every mistake. Even his grandmother’s old rosary beads, usually a therapy blanket of sorts, lay limp in his palm. So many thoughts spun through his head, caught up in a whirlwind of fear. But at least he was alone, no one could find him, no one was watching. Patrick would be pretty anxious, not knowing where he was, but who fucking cares. At least the tabloids wouldn’t follow him to this tiny church.  
Pete stood up from his kneeling position and felt woozy from the head rush. After a few moments his rushing blood calmed enough to let him think. Hoping to some diety that the Priest wasn’t around he meandered his way to the church altar, covered in old candles and colorful cloth. There was something so ancient about the space that comforted Pete, like if he stayed here long enough he could become like the ancient creaking wood and well worn stone, quiet observers to the world around them, ancient and forgotten and nowhere near the public eye.  
The sound of footsteps clicked upon the floors and Pete’s head snapped up.  
“Pete!” It was Patrick, rushing towards him with a face full of worry. His hair was disheveled and he was breathing heavily. Reaching Pete his hands wrapped around Pete’s shoulder’s pulling him into a tight hug.  
Pete was frozen, how could Patrick have found him?  
“I was so worried Pete, when no one knew where you were I thought- I thought...”  
“How’d you find me?” He gritted out.  
“What?” Patrick said pulling away to look into his friend’s face.  
“How’d you fucking find me?” Pete snapped, peeling away from Patrick’s embrace like he had burnt himself. A hand went to his hair and his breath quickened. No one could find him. No one was supposed to find him. If Patrick could find him everyone could find him. They’ve probably been here the whole time. His previous tears would be on the front page by tomorrow if he was fucking lucky.  
“Pete calm down!” Patrick shouted, but his voice garbled into gibberish on the way from Pete’s ears to his brain.  
“Pete!” Patrick’s hands were once again on his shoulders but the weight of them simply crumpled Pete, folding him in on himself like a piece of old paper. He was on his knees and tears were falling from his face. Patrick stood above him, the fractals of the stained glass framing his concerned face like an angel’s halo. Maybe this wasn’t really Patrick. No, the real Patrick wouldn’t have found him. This must be an angel, a figment. Maybe god had sent this angel to bring him away to wherever he was destined.  
“Tell me about heaven” Pete mumbled, leaning tiredly against the angel’s leg, accepting it must be here to take him away. “Even if that’s not where I’m going”  
The angel was silent, so fucking silent.  
“I’m dying aren’t I?” It was the only possibility right. It was what he deserved anyway.  
“Not a bad place to leave from, but I don’t remember the pills this time-” He laughed hollowly “Maybe that means it’s working”  
The angels lips were moving but no sound came from them. Was he whispering something? It kept getting louder but none of the words made sense, did angels even speak english? Well even if the angel looked upset he looked pretty, the light in his hair, his face creased with laugh lines endearingly. Pete wondered if the angels could read his mind, to know to take the form of Patrick. At least he could see the person he cared about most in the world before he died.

“Pete fucking listen to me!” Patrick’s voice struck through the haze that was pete’s mind like an arrow shot through fog. His mind felt as clear as it had in days. His surroundings went from distressingly blurred to painfully sharp and Pete’s brain felt cramped with the overstimulation.  
“Are you high pete?” Patrick said, his voice registering at the reasonable level it had been the whole time. “What did you take?”  
“Nothing-” Pete spat out, his mouth dry and difficult to force into motion.  
“What does nothing mean?” Patrick’s eyes scanned his friend searching for signs of something, anything. An explanation no matter how terrible would be better than this. Pete fell into another fit of sobbing and Patrick couldn’t make out what words he was muttering.  
“I’m calling an ambulance.” Patrick said whipping out his phone while Pete meekly grabbed at it.  
“Don’t I swear to god don’t” He said. “They’ll be there, they’ll be there I know it”  
The phone wrang and the dispatcher spoke but it felt so distant with Pete’s eyes burning holes into him.  
“It’s not drugs- if you don’t count coffee” Pete said finally explaining something. Patrick subtly clicked hang up as he listened to Pete. The man was counting slowly on both hands but kept starting over and over. “Brain won’t math- haven’t slept in some number of days”  
“What? Why, can’t you just take sleep aids or something?” Patrick had heard about sleep deprivation but it had to have been going on for a while for it to get this bad.  
“They’re watching Patrick” He said shakily, leaving out that sleep medicine mixes terribly with the anxiety meds he’d tried so hard to be good about taking.  
“I’m gonna die here Patrick, I feel it” Pete began to drone out  
“No you’re not, not on my watch.” Patrick was pulling him up to standing position, if he couldn’t call an ambulance he could drive at least his friend himself.  
“No I swear- I saw an angel…” Pete’s head lolled against Patrick’s shoulder, his weight against patrick’s body. “There was a pretty angel” he laughed “Wouldn’t tell me where I’m going though.”  
“You’re not gonna die” Patrick monotoned.  
“Well if I am I want to know where I’m going! I doubt I’d get into either. I’d get to the gate of heaven and god would say ‘no’ and I’d get to the door to hell and Satan'd be like ‘nah’.” Pete fell silent after that and Patrick wasn’t sure if he was just thinking or had passed out. Either way the weight was heavy, he was a full grown man what could one expect? But Patrick trudged to the outer door of the church and shoved Pete into the back of his car. He had passed out, but he was breathing.  
Climbing into the driver’s seat Patrick couldn’t help but mull over Pete’s words.  
“I’d give you a boost over the gate, heaven’s gate that is” He said before tuning into the quiet thrum of the car to navigate through Chicago traffic.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed, and check out the rest of this series if you liked this fic


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